Leaving Africa

9 months of my life. And it's taken me another 3 to even force myself to sit down and write about it. What happened? I was supposed to be there for 2 years...
There were days of magnificent highs, spent climbing through waterfalls, spotting elephants through bus windows, or even just sharing a meal and laughing together with Mama Maua, happy about the slightest victory over the language barrier. There were other days I could barely hold myself together, boiling over in frustration with strage bus kondas trying to cheat me in a country where nothing ever gets done easily or on time, or ignoring everyone because I was so homesick I would cry at any moment and you can't do that in front of Tanzanians. Moments were I felt on top of the world and couldn't imagine doing anything else. Moments I would've traded it all in a heartbeat for an old friend's hug and a Reeses Peanut Butter Cup. "The hardest job you'll ever love." Hmm. You can't understand how true that is until you experience it. In the end, I decided life is too short not to be with the people you love. That's the oversimplified explanation of why I left, but it gets the point across. That being said, I wouldn't change a single moment of the time I spent there. And not a day goes by that I don't think about the people I left, both the Peace Corps Volunteers and my villagers, and feel the sadness of missing them along with a stabbing guilt for abandoning them too soon.
Readjustment is so weird. Most of the time I feel like it's over, and it kind of saddens me how quickly I seem to have rejoined America. Then at moments I'm overcome with visions of Africa. I'll be at a bar or party in America, someplace full of careless fun. Next thing I know my brain will be back in Dosidosi, picturing the happy toddlers in their torn clothes, bellies distended, playing with sticks in the dirt. I get irrationally angry at the injustice between what I'm seeing here and what I saw there. I have to run away to go cry. How could I have left? I don't know if I helped there, but at least I lived meaningfully, with a pure purpose and no excesses. It's hard not to feel purposeless now, floating around empty with no idea where to go. I can only tell myself that I'll be back again, that this is only a brief intermission between adventures. Reentry...kind of makes me feel crazy.
Clearly Africa changed me. How could it not have? The thought of trying to sum up what I learned is daunting. How do I put 9 months of living/speaking/eating/breathing/sleeping Tanzania into a neat 500-word moral? Even now the tears are running as I remember all the amazing people I miss. Poverty is complicated and human. It is not statistics on a graph or images on a website. It cannot be solved by voting in elections or putting checks in the mail. Maybe it can't be solved at all. I lived in poverty alongside my villagers for 9 months and I've only begun to understand the factors at play. Everyone wants to save the world before they even experience it. The world is a crazy quilty of cultures and people who are all made of the same stuff no matter how differently they live. We can't make any progress without getting to know each other first. Peace Corps was the hardest thing I ever did because I was completely immersed in Tanzania. I learned their language, their foods, their work, their celebrations. I tried to teach a little bit but that will never compare to what they taught me. People are people no matter what and people are beautiful and amazing all over the world. I have family in Africa now. If you want my advice on how to help Africa, I would say to go and see it first. Go live and play and let it change your world. They say once your feet touch African dirt you'll always be back. I believe it.
Tupo pamoja.

Across the Maasai Steppe

"I'm wide awake and so alive. Ringing like a bell. Tell me this is paradise and not someplace I fell, 'cause I keep on fallin' down. I wanna feel the car crash. I wanna feel the capsize. I wanna feel the bomb drop, the earth stop 'til I'm satisfied. I wanna let go and know that I'll be alright, alright." -Matt Nathanson

What is UP? I apologize for the lack of entries lately! I've been busy! I've actually finally gotten a few things up and running in my village with much more in the works. I started teaching Life Skills to the 7th graders and my first lesson went excellently! I continue that and start with my Peer Education/Health Club at the secondary school this week. I also have had several meetings about my orphans' chicken-keeping project and my goal is to have the grant submitted before I come to America (in just 2 weeks). Once I submit it it's up to Peace Corps how long it takes for them to post it online to be open for donations but I'll definitely update on here when it's up. Should be less than $2000 to start a sustainable project so kids can keep going to school! I also went to Iringa for a PEPFAR-sponsored HIV/AIDS training and got some good ideas there while having fun with the other PCVs. After that Bill (an Environment volunteer friend) traveled back to my village with me to help me start a tree nursery in my village. It went awesomely...we prepared an area, built a fence, gathered tons of dirt/sand/manure, prepared planting tubes, and planted 500 seeds in 3 days thanks to help from my school teachers and free child labor! That's how you get things done around here! I have awesome pictures of all the kids working away and hopefully in a few months we'll have a lot of seedlings. Doing that made me feel really great, it was awesome to finally SEE something I helped create happen in my village, even though it was really all Bill! We also are culinary masters and made calzones, enchiladas, french toast, chili and corn bread, Asian coleslaw, carrot cake, and many other things. Several included spinach from my garden which actually is growing! It DOES give you a weird hillbilly sense of pride to eat food you grew yourself. So also this week I'm going to hopefully teach permaculture gardening with my counterpart for some People Living w/ HIV, some Mamas, really anyone who wants to learn! And maybe finally get around to building a solar stove to see how it works and if I can start teaching that.

I just got back from a work trip to Arusha in the Kilimanjaro region with Keith and Heather. We went to visit with a couple NGOs that we had made contact with in order to find out about possible collaboration. Arusha was amazing but getting there was quite interesting. We got to our banking town, Kibaya, thinking that there was an afternoon bus we could take that day to continue on the journey. Of course it had crashed earlier that week so was no longer running. So after getting distracted in town by beer and soap operas for a few hours, we set out kind of late on an attempt to hitchhike. We walked about an hour outside of town and started sticking our thumbs out (actually in TZ it's this other weird arm motion). Of course, no luck, the few trucks that do pass us aren't going as far as we need to go. So we head back to Kibaya for a night and get up at 4:30 am the next morning to catch the bus to Arusha. We'd never been there before so we didn't know the route. Well, apparently there is a road directly from Kibaya to Arusha that goes right through the Maasai Steppe, pretty much the most wild and remote area in Tanzania. The bus was a piece of crap, of course, and the road was HORRIBLE. There was no way to sleep because we were bouncing all over the place for 8 hours. My arm was banging into the window so much I bruised my shoulder. But we were LUCKY because we had seats. The aisle was also packed full of standing people of course. Just to maximize casualties should there be a crash. At one point we got stuck in a pothole and had to get pulled out w/ chains attached to another truck while we almost tipped over. That's travel in Tanzania. But it was awesome in some ways because we saw SO MANY zebras!!!!!!!!! We were basically in the middle of nowhere with only tiny Maasai villages- just clusters of tiny dung huts out on the plains. So there were herds of zebras everywhere really close to the road. We also glimpsed giraffes, baboons, and dikdiks. And at no time were we in a national park. It was really cool. I love zebras. And of course we did eventually get there and met some awesome expats doing amazing work for this NGO called The Flying Medical Service. Definitely some possibilities for them to come do work in our villages, which means Keith and I might get free wine delivered via airplane and free rides in these prop planes if we feel like hopping in w/ the pilot/paramedics who fly into villages in our region to do free clinics. It's gonna be awesome. Arusha was also a really cool city although I was severely disappointed by the 12,500 shilling "Kilimanjaro nachos" which were huge but lacking adequate cheese. So REAL nachos are def on the list for my foodfest in America in just 2 weeks!!!!!!!!!!!! So, I am super excited for OHIO, the wedding, food, friends, and everything! But things are looking up here so I will definitely be back for more Peace Corps....8 months down, 18 to go.
See ya soon (some of you!)

for your development-nerd pleasure...

Village Situation Analysis

Carrie Hoffman, Health Education Volunteer, 2009-2011

Dosidosi Village, Kiteto District, Manyara Region

Introduction

Purpose: The purpose of the Village Situation Analysis (VSA) is to gather information about the village of Dosidosi and then to analyze that information to identify resources, needs, and potential projects for the Peace Corps Volunteer (PCV). The VSA process also is intended to help the PCV gain knowledge and understanding of the community and vice versa for the community to understand the purpose and intentions of the PCV.

Information Collection: The information contained in this VSA was collected using a variety of methods. A total of ten formal house-to-house surveys were conducted in four different sub-villages. The interviewees were of both genders ranging in age from 31-49, and of varying economic status. Three Participatory Analysis for Community Action (PACA) were held and attended by men and women, a majority of whom were under the age of 30, although villagers of all ages were invited. Questionnaires and surveys were also answered by the Village Executive Officer (VEO), local nurses, and primary school teachers. Meetings of the village government and several village committees and groups were attended. Numerous questions were also answered through informal conversations with community leaders and villagers. Village historical background was provided by elder Kiondo Maguruko. Outstanding assistance with conducting house-to-house surveys and PACA meetings was provided by Hadija Omari.

Information Sharing: The completed VSA will be provided in both English and Swahili to the Peace Corps office, Kiteto district officials, Dosidosi village officials, and any other committees, organizations, or leaders who might find the information helpful.

Community Profile

General Information: The village of Dosidosi is located in Kiteto district just inside the southern border of Manyara region. Dosidosi is made up of mostly Wagogo, Mnguo, and Maasai tribes. In 1948 while Tanzania was still a British colony many Wagogo people began settling in the area to open businesses and establish farms. The first man to open a shop in the area was Ismael Ibrahim. Dosidosi officially became a village in 1976 after Tanzania gained independence from Great Britain. The village name comes from a Maasai word for the particular type of soil found in the area.

Community Characteristics: Dosidosi is located on the main road south from Kiteto-town, about 40 kilometers south of Kiteto (also called Kibaya.) Dosidosi consists of six different sub-villages spread over 3420 acres. The main sub-village of Dosidosi Madukani contains the government office and most businesses. Each other sub-village varies in distance from two to six kilometers away from the village center. The village is rural, dry, and semi-arid. It stands at an average elevation of 1000 meters and is surrounded by several small mountains. The weather is cool during the dry season and hot during the rainy season with consistent strong winds. There are no nearby lakes or rivers and lack of rain several months of the year poses challenges for agriculture and basic survival.

Transportation, Communication, and Basic Services: There are no buses originating in Dosidosi, however coasters and buses pass through three times a day in either direction to go to Kibaya (two hour trip) or Dodoma (three hour trip). All roads in the surrounding area are completely dirt and thus can be difficult to traverse during the rainy season. Transportation to other parts of Tanzania can be boarded in Matui (15 kilometers away) or Kibaya. There are also many motorcycles in the village which people hire for transportation. The majority of villagers, however, travel by bicycle or on foot.

There are no power lines in the village. Only a few private homes have electricity powered by generators or solar panels. There are no land telephone lines and until recently was no reliable cell phone service. A new Vodacom tower opened in November, providing coverage for the few villagers who have cell phones.

Population: The population of Dosidosi is 2752, approximately 62% female and 48% male. 43% of the total population is under 18. There are 12 identified single-parent households and nine completely orphaned children.

Population Breakdown by Age

Age (Years)	Population
0-2	156
3-5	167
6-13	593
14-18	268
19-44	1486
45-60	43
61+	24

These numbers indicate that Dosidosi may expect to encounter shortages of farm space and work in the near future when the currently under-18 population reaches adulthood.

Education: There are two primary schools in Dosidosi- one in Dosidosi Madukani and one in the sub-village Mguli. There is one secondary school which was opened in 2008 so as of now only has Form 1 and Form 2 students. The costs for schooling are for uniforms, shoes, notebooks, pens, and other fees. For primary school the total expense for one year of schooling ranges from 38,400 shillings to 59,700 shillings depending on the grade level. For secondary school the total expenses for one year range from 176,000 shillings to 313,000 shillings depending on the student’s form and whether they are a boarder.

Student and Teacher Population

School	Number of Students	Number of Teachers
Dosidosi Primary School	502	8
Mguli Primary School	224	5
Dosidosi Secondary School	180	11
School Leavers	284	--

All three schools suffer from lack of resources such as more teachers, desks, supplies and equipment. The secondary school is lacking teachers’ housing and dormitories. A few students do leave the community to attend other secondary schools. There is a very high population of school leavers. The majority of these leave school after Standard 7 due to failing their exams or being unable to afford secondary school. Most school leavers continue to live at home and help with their parents’ farms. There are currently no alternative education or vocational training programs in the village for school leavers. Lack of work for the out-of-school youth is a huge problem that villagers agree needs to be addressed. Each school also has a farm on which the students work. The products are then sold for income, with a small amount being used for the provided meals at the secondary school. At both primary schools students return home for chai break and lunch. The secondary school also has several organized sports and clubs for students. 31% of the secondary school students are from other villages and thus live in dormitories.

Economic and Agricultural Assessment: There are no major employers in Dosidosi. There are a few small family-run shops, vegetable stands, cafes, and one bar. A few people make money delivering water, charcoal, or firewood door-to-door. There are also a few skilled laborers such as carpenters, tailors, and mechanics.

Land is used mostly for subsistence agriculture. The average farm size per family is 3-10 acres. Most families’ farms are located 1-3 kilometers outside the village in the surrounding area. The main crops are corn, pigeon-peas, and sunflowers, with a few people also growing potatoes or cow-peas. Very few families plant vegetable gardens. Most families consume the majority of their harvest and sell any excess on the road or at the twice-monthly market in the village. Villagers must go to Kibaya to buy seeds although variety is limited. Most do not use any fertilizer and the few who do use cow manure. Villagers reported they are unable to afford chemical fertilizer or advanced farming equipment. All family members assist with farming by hand.

The main types of livestock in the village are chickens, goats, and cows, with a few donkeys and pigs. Many Maasai keep large herds of cows and/or goats as their main subsistence activity. A fish farm is in the planning stages however as a collaborative project between the Environment Committee and the PCV. A few people are involved in apiculture. In addition to the Environment Committee, there are several economic committees/Non-Governmental Organizations involved in farming activities.

Environmental Assessment: The environment of Dosidosi consists of farm and grazing land with many lightly wooded hills. There are no nearby lakes, rivers, or protected or tourist areas. Many villagers cut down nearby trees and shrubs for use as firewood. This practice may possibly have a harmful effect on the ecosystem. Wild animals in the area include snakes, lizards, meercats, and monkeys. There are currently no projects to preserve the environment taking place.

Villagers get water for drinking, bathing, and cooking from a large reservoir during the rainy season and from small hand-dug wells during the dry season. The primary school also has one water catchment tank connected to a tap which is full during the rainy season. There are no water taps in the village so people are forced to walk long distances to the wells to carry water. During the dry season wells frequently dry up and new ones must be dug. Due to the water shortage during this season, villagers must pay 100 shillings per bucket for water. The water available is not sanitary for drinking and often not clean, however most villagers do not boil their drinking water. This likely contributes to the frequency of gastro-intestinal illnesses among villagers.

The majority of households in Dosidosi have hand-dug dirt pit latrines. Often several families share one latrine and some households lack one completely. All trash is disposed of by being burned in small pits outside homes. There is no organized waste management system and currently no regulations requiring households to have latrines. Villagers also lack knowledge of basic hygiene practices such as hand-washing.

Health and Well-Being Assessment: The most common non-communicable diseases in the village are malaria and pneumonia. These especially affect children. In January of 2010 the village government plans to begin distributing free bed nets to children under five years old to help prevent malaria. The most common communicable diseases are typhoid, eye diseases such as trachoma and conjunctivitis, stomach problems and diarrhea, and Sexually Transmitted Diseases. Children are especially affected by eye diseases which villagers believe is due to the dusty environment. Most villagers only admit to STDs being a problem among the youth, although they are likely much more widespread. According the village officials, there are 25 people in the village who have tested positive for HIV. The number of infected people who have not been tested is likely much higher. A recent baseline survey of HIV/AIDS knowledge showed that a majority of villagers know what HIV/AIDS is but lack understanding about how it is transmitted. There is a People Living with HIV/AIDS (PLWHA) group in the community but it is unable to be very active due to lack of funding and poor attendance. A majority of villagers also feel that the nutritional status of their families is inadequate due to lack of food diversity available most of the year.

Dosidosi has one private clinic, one government clinic, and one drug store. The private clinic has one doctor and a laboratory for diagnostics. It provides outpatient treatment for common diseases and testing only for HIV. However testing and treatment at this clinic is too expensive for most villagers. The government clinic has two nurses on staff who treat all types of illnesses and injuries. Most health services are available at a low cost and pregnant woman and children receive malaria prophylaxis and many other services for free. HIV/AIDS testing is available in the village, however for patients to test their CD4 counts they must travel to Kibaya and to receive Anti-Retroviral Drugs (ARVs) they must travel six kilometers to the village of Engusero. Thus the cost and inconvenience of transportation prevents many HIV/AIDS patients from acquiring ARVs. HIV is largely a taboo subject to villagers and their unwillingness to discuss the problem likely perpetuates ignorance about prevention and treatment.

Community Resources/Assets: There are many committees and groups present in Dosidosi. These include environment, health, economy, safety, schools, and livestock committees, a PLWHA group, and an elder’s group. There are also several different organizations working to improve agriculture and provide small loans to farmers. The government also plans to open a product bank where villagers can pay a small fee for storage of their harvested products while they wait for the price to go up to sell them. These are mostly run and participated in by women. There is one sports field behind the primary school which is enjoyed by children and adults. There are several traditional healers in the community treating all types of health problems. About half the villagers believe in the ability of the traditional healers and half do not. The NGO FINCA has a microfinance program in the village providing loans for small businesses to men and women. The World Food Program has promised to begin school feeding programs at both the primary and secondary schools but the facilities are still under construction. Other NGOs present include Kinapaa Development, AMCOS, and Pukamaudo. These groups are working on development of health, education, and community, although their exact strength and impact in the village is not yet known. Almost everyone in Dosidosi Madukani is Muslim and there are two mosques in the village. There are no churches in the main area of the village but a few Christians attend Anglican or Catholic churches in other nearby sub-villages or villages.

Analysis

Dosidosi faces many challenges which need to be addressed in order to improve life for the inhabitants. The following are the main problems determined by the PCV and community members.

Water: Lack of water during the dry season is a huge problem for Dosidosi. During this season water is only available from distant wells which constantly dry up due to heavy usage, causing new ones to need to be dug. Villagers must also pay on average 100 shillings per bucket of water during this time. The long walks to carry water are a particular drain on the time and energy of women in the village, leading to decreased productivity in other activities. Solving the water problem would give villagers more money and time to spend on things like education and income generation. Solving the problem is difficult, however, because it would likely require installation of a central mechanical well with a storage tank. Such an undertaking would require large amounts of money, labor, and maintenance training for certain villagers to prepare for inevitable repair needs.

Agriculture: As mentioned, most villagers are farming on a mere subsistence level and struggling to feed their families. Recent drought has had a degenerative effect on harvest yields and put even further strain on the village’s economy. Villagers recognize that lack of agricultural progress is a huge problem but believe that acquiring expensive modern equipment, such as tractors, power tillers and more farming tools, is the solution. More realistically, agriculture could be improved through educating villagers in permaculture techniques to improve crop yields, since permaculture requires no specialized equipment. Farmers could also benefit from practicing crop diversification to improve both soil quality and nutritional status of their families, who consume a majority of the products.

Education: Lack of basic equipment in the schools is a huge issue for the students of Dosidosi. The primary school has desks for only three out of the five classrooms and lacks other basic supplies. The secondary school needs to complete construction on several classrooms, dorms for boarders, and housing for teachers. Currently both boarding students and teachers are sharing extremely crowded houses near the primary school. The secondary school also needs equipment such as a laboratory for improving science education.

Work for Youth: Due to the thigh rate of students leaving school after completing primary school, there are many young adults in the village without jobs or any viable job options for the future. The lack of activities for these youth contributes to the problems of alcoholism, drug abuse, crime, and spread of STDs. This problem could be addressed by finding funding for interested school-leavers to attend agricultural or vocational training programs in other towns and by setting up apprenticeship/mentorship programs partnering interested youth with local tradesmen.

Health: Dosidosi’s health problems stem from two main sources – a lack of resources and a lack of knowledge. The local clinics are understaffed and overburdened. They lack basic supplies such as functioning scales, diagnostic testing equipment, vaccine storage, and many other items. Although the nurses reach out regularly to local mothers with health education information, many other villagers lack basic information about disease prevention and transmission. This problem can be addressed by initiating further health education programs in the schools and community groups. The enveloping problem of nutrition in Dosidosi could be addressed by teaching permaculture and encouraging villagers to grow vegetable gardens, something which almost no one does. The PLWHAs also face problems in regards to nutrition, lack of income, access to ARVs, and stigmatization. These problems could be addressed through engaging in income-generating activities to allow money to be available for better food and transport for getting ARVs.

Orphans and Vulnerable Children (OVCs): The 21 orphans and many other vulnerable children in the village, including the children of PLWHAs, face challenges in regards to getting adequate care at home, finances to stay in school, and emotional support. These problems could be addressed by setting up a sponsorship program to assist with OVCs’ school fees, and a support club to teach skills such as gardening, basic health, and engage in income-generating activities.

Possible Projects

In the face of the numerous and complex needs of Dosidosi, narrowing down project options is very difficult. The following are projects which at this time seem most achievable within two years and which have the most possibility to create sustainable development which will continue after the PCV leaves.

Education:

1. Life Skills Education: Due to the lack of health knowledge in the general community, the PCV feels that reaching out to youth will have the most future impact. Weekly Life Skills lessons for the upper levels of the primary school will offer a fun and interactive way to impart knowledge of sex education, HIV/AIDS prevention, and positive decision-making to youth. This requires no funding.
2. Peer Education: To reach out to secondary school students, the PCV feels that a partially student-run, interactive Peer Education Club will be most effective. The PCV will first focus on teaching selected Peer Educators about health knowledge and Life Skills with an emphasis on girls’ empowerment, and then to train them to similarly educate their peers. This group could include activities such as weekly meetings, guest speakers, and possibly group field trips, which would require outside funding.

Health:

1. Clinic Data Management Support: The nurses at the government clinic in Dosidosi are doing an excellent job with the resources they have but need more assistance. The PCV will offer assistance two times per week at the clinic during mother and child clinic day and pregnancy clinic day. The PCV will help by recording data during clinics and supporting education sessions as requested. Securing outside funding to purchase some of the equipment the clinic is lacking would also greatly improve the function of the clinic.
2. PLWHA Assistance: Due to the poor nutritional status of HIV/AIDS patients, the PCV hopes to assist the village PLWHA group in planting a community vegetable garden, implementing permaculture techniques. The products will help to improve nutrition of the PLWHA and any excess can be sold for group income. Additionally, the PLWHA group is interested in starting income-generating activities. The first proposed project is a bicycle-rental business. The group will acquire 20 bicycles and then charge villagers a fee for daily rental. There is a demand for a service like this in the village due to many people traveling long distances on foot to their farms or to visit neighboring villages. Part of the income from this project will go into a fund for bicycle repairs when needed. This project will require outside start-up funds for purchasing the bicycles.
3. Care Groups: The PCV plans to work with one of the nurses at the government clinic to form a Mama’s group for health-related peer education. The Mother Leaders will be chosen by the nurse and meet once a month to learn about various health issues such as nutrition, HIV/AIDS, communicable diseases and sanitation, and prenatal health. They will then be responsible for teaching the other Mamas in their neighborhoods. The PCV also plans to place a health question box at the clinic for anonymous questions and answers to improve adult health knowledge.

Youth Development:

1. OVC Support: Since many OVCs struggle to pay school fees, the PCV has begun developing a PCPP grant to start a chicken-raising project. The OVCs at the primary school will learn to raise and care for chickens and also manage a small business. The profit made from selling eggs and chickens will pay for their school fees and possibly also a portion of the secondary school OVC’s school fees. Additionally, the PCV is seeking to start an OVC support group. The first goal of the group will be to identify the main problems faced by the children on a day-to-day basis. These will then be addressed, possibly by teaching skills like permaculture or engaging in other income-generating activities.

Environment:

1. Mamas’ Garden: A group of 25 Mamas have already secured an area of land and several types of seeds to plant a communal vegetable garden. This garden will improve nutrition and provide an income-generation opportunity. Also, the PCV and counterpart plan to teach and help implement permaculture techniques in making this garden so that it may serve as an example to villagers of the benefits of permaculture.

Conclusion

It is the hope of the PCV that through implementation of these projects the lives of Dosidosi villagers will begin to improve through a process of sustainable change.

Rain

"Well there's not a lot for you to give if you're giving in. And there's not a lot for you to feel if you're not feeling it. You bring it up and bring it in and we'll get you fixed up in no time..."-Tegan and Sara

Not gonna lie, this week has been tough. I've been going through a bit of a crisis of confidence as far as what I'm doing here. For some reason I just got in this really homesick, depressed mood that I couldn't shake. When I'm in the village I try to be productive and usually am but there's still a lot of downtime and if you know me you know that a bored Carrie is an unhappy Carrie. So as of right now I'm just taking it day by day, sometimes moment by moment, trying to remember that it's not about me.

On Sunday I had a slightly revalatory moment. I went to church w/ a few of my neighbors, about a 40 min. walk away in the next village. It was good to go but church services drag on forever here so I eventually realized I was going to have to leave early to be on time for a scheduled meeting. As I was trying to decide what time to sneak out, I kept hearing thunder getting closer and closer, obviously it was about to rain. So of course I left at the most inopportune time possible and the rain started about five minutes into my walk. So stubborn me, I am not going to turn around and spend all day at church waiting for it to stop, and of course I'm completely unprepared w/o umbrella or raincoat, but I keep going. Now when it rains here, it rains Biblically. So I'm walking down this dirt road as fast as I can in my skirt and Birkenstocks, and the heavens just unleash a DOWNPOUR. I was completely drenched in about 10 minutes and still far from home. At 1st I felt like the world's biggest idiot but then I realized, "You know, there's nothing you can do to prevent this so just give up!" And I started to embrace it. I took off my glasses which were useless and carried my shoes, and kept walking barefoot down the road which instantly became a muddy river. It was the most soaked I'd been since the beach and closest thing I've had to a bath in 5 days. I actually wished I had my shampoo! So it was good for something. Honestly, I kind of enjoyed it because it was marvelous to witness with every pore and every sense how hard it can rain in this place that was a dry desert just a couple months ago. Now everything has become green and lush! As I finally neared home I was splashing through huge puddles and sure my cell phone was drowned (it still works, knock on wood!). I was soaked to the bone but feeling strangely renewed. 'Cause really, Idk when the last time I didn't try to avoid or get through a rainstorm as fast as possible was. How often do we ever completely surrender ourselves to nature and the elements? Not that I want to make a habit of taking long hikes in monsoons with no protection, but this one time it was exhilarating. And maybe exactly what I needed.

2010!

Happy New Year!!!!! I truly hope it's been an awesome one for all of you out there! I beat you to it by 8 hours though! I don't have much to update but I did have an amazing Christmas and New Years and am now ready to start getting some serious work done in my vill (aside from a Dar trip and an Iringa trip already scheduled for this month for meetings and trainings). First up is hopefully a community garden Hadija is helping organize now, starting to teach Life Skills at the primary and secondary school, and hopefully a chicken project to raise money for my orphans' school fees. So for those of you who were interested in contributing to help out with that, I'm planning to write a grant for start-up money for the project ASAP. As soon as the grant gets through it will be posted online and you will be able to donate. I'm hoping that raising chickens and selling the eggs for income-generation will give the kids a sustainable way to raise their school fees rather than just relying on donations from America year after year. So as soon as that is up for donations I will let everyone know. May take a few more weeks though. Things move slowly in Africa and in Peace Corps bureaucracy.
Well, that's about it, time to go waste time on facebook until my Internet time runs out!
Mwaka Mpya Njema!!!! (Happy New Year!)

Merry Christmas from TZ!

MERRY CHRISTMAS FROM THE HOT LAND OF AFRICA!!!

Real blog later. But know this, everyone:

I AM COMING HOME IN MARCH FOR JUSTINE'S WEDDING!!! March 2-16, Cbus.

Get excited. Get ready for Graeter's trips.

Shagalabagala Kabisa

So! It has been awhile! Sorry I tend to be ADHD when I get to Internet and spend all my time putzing around on facebook instead of gathering my thoughts to write blogs. And now I only have 15 minutes left so this will have to be short. I'll try to highlight the craziness of the last month with a few main points:
Thanksgiving-- we celebrated early and did it up as best we could for being in TZ. It was a great time full of laughter. Although it does NOT feel at all like the holiday season and it's starting to sink in that I probably just won't really have Christmas spirit for the next 2 years. It's too opposite from how Christmas-time is supposed to feel here!
"Murder! In the Village"-- (like "Panic! at the Disco" Erica haha) So I had a crazy experience in my village recently. The Tuesday before Thanksgiving I had just gotten home and around 8:45 pm I heard a loud bang outside my house. I thought "Wow, that sounded like a gunshot." then immediately thought "No....this is Dosidosi, it couldn't have been, it was a car or something." Then went to bed. The next morning I was casually working in my garden when my neighbor came over and I asked him why there was no school on a school day. He proceeded to be the 1st to inform me that one of the teachers from my school had been SHOT AND KILLED right between my school and the row of teachers houses where I live the night before. So I was FREAKED OUT. It was so upsetting and more so by the fact that he was a friend of mine, I had had dinner at his house and everything. And it just came out of nowhere to me. So of course I left the village for a couple days and hung out at Keith's and talked to Peace Corps about the situation. It basically came down to whether I felt safe in the village or not. Obviously I don't feel as safe as I used to but changing sites would be horrible. As much as I might have wanted to had this been week 2 or something, a site change after how far I've come would just suck. And as far as the alleged reason for the crime, it has nothing to do w/ me so I'm not fearing for my life or anything. But it was a terrible couple of days, and to top it all off when Keith and I returned to my house on Thanksgiving Day to cook and hide out from gunmen we found that sadly Sloopy had passed away. So Buttercup is now the lone ranger. I was really sad. Sorry this is terribly written but I'm running out of time.
IST--So NOW life is great again because I am in Morogoro for In-Service-Training with my whole group! It has been awesome to see everyone again, celebrate a bunch of people's birthdays, hang out at a pool, eat pizza, and stay up til 3 am just laughing like crazy. I missed certain people from other regions SO much and it is so great to hear their stories and experiences and just catch up. Also we are learning some awesome stuff about grant-writing, project implementation, and cool things like how to make batiks and plant trees. After a session today I am totally pumped to go back home and teach people how to make solar cookers! They're gonna think I'm crazy bu it is gonna be AWESOME! So looking forward to more useful info, more fun times, and our counterparts arriving on Sunday.
So just in time I think I'm done with this completely scatterbrained update. So lots of ups and downs but things are now on the upswing! Peace out!

Survival Mode

"I always believed in futures...I hope for better in November."

So occasionally when I'm bored at the Internet cafe I browse my other PC buddies blogs, some of which are linked on the right. I think this entry by my friend Cessie so perfectly describes what being here can be like that I wanted to link it directly: http://cessieintanzania.wordpress.com/2009/11/08/homesick/
So yeah, I totally empathize with what she's talking about there. I think many things in this country come down to the problem of "Survival Mode." Most Tanzanians, definitely most of my villagers, are so poor that each day is a struggle for survival...getting water, putting food on the table and keeping a roof (and often not a very good one) over their heads are difficult enough tasks that they consume everyone's time, energy, and thinking. Lack of electricity, water, good roads and all that make everyday tasks take up much more time than they do in the western world. So basically, very few Tanzanians are ever encouraged to have goals, plans, dreams for the future. Most of them don't think further ahead than the next day. And who can blame them, because the life expectancy is so short here, and every day they do more hard work than most Americans just to SURVIVE. But how do you get people to realize the importance of making plans and having dreams? Ni shida kubwa (It's a big problem.)

On the other hand, I have realized I have also been living in a kind of "Survival Mode" since getting to site. Not in the same way as Tanzanians because my life is definitely not as hard as theirs since I have enough money to live decently here and don't have to do hard physical labor on a farm all day. But these first few months at site I have been focused mostly on just survival. Mainly this is a mental thing. I got used to no electricity and bucket baths during training, and I can deal with the bugs and I like cooking for myself. But being the only outsider in a tiny village and trying to fit in with a completely different culture, make friends in a new language, trying to make people understand what I'm even doing there, trying to decide for myself what I'm going to do there, and at the same time dealing with homesickness and loneliness has been what is hard to survive. Some days in my village I've wanted to go home so much I don't think I can deal with it anymore. And some days in my village are great. Most are in between. But for the last few months I have been basically just trying to get through the days and make the time pass...whether that means I have a productive day or whether I need a day where I just read a book and make myself some brownies and ignore all the kids at my door. And of course there have been many "mental health" excursions to town. Basically, I've been getting through it. But I think that I'm finally coming to the point where I'm sick of survival mode. When I think about the big picture and get myself out of the day-to-day mindset I realize that being here is pretty awesome. Of course it's challenging, but two years in perspective is not a long time. And I get to spend it in a beautiful country, speaking a language hardly anyone in the west ever learns, and being welcomed with open arms into a village of amazing people who will appreciate anything I can do so much. So it's time to give myself an attitude adjustment and start seeing the positives more. I'm in freakin' Tanzania, in Peace Corps, getting opportunities to do so much amazing work and see the world. It's pretty amazing. So from now on it's time to get down to business, get my projects started, get out of my house and start enjoying every day, whether I'm in my village or not.

Dada Carrie Had a Farm...

Whew, it’s HOT! It is getting to be that time of the year when I guess I am going to sit in my house sweating no matter how physically inactive I am. And to think that back home it is probably nice and cool and fall-like, even cold by now perhaps! Don’t take it for granted people! I’m sweating enough for all of us over here!
So let’s see, what has happened since my last update? Well, I got TONS of packages I had been waiting for all w/in 2 days and it was just like Christmas! I now know that I’ll never starve no matter how broke I get because I can always live on granola bars. And Hershey Kisses arrived intact so send that chocolate people! Just make sure you put anything open-able inside Ziplocs because magazines soaked in exploded shampoo or iced tea powder are stickier to read. Seriously though, you should have seen Keith and I after we went to the PO and both got packages. We were SO happy we just ran to the bar at 9:30am to bask in the glory of People magazines and Crystal Lite powder (I have been much better hydrated now that my water doesn’t taste like mud). So THANK YOU Mom and Aunt Dawn!
Other news- I finally got all the bat holes in my house sealed up and my choo doors fixed (hoping the junk will be out by the end of November), my boss visited my site and met all my people, I barely saved Sloopy from drowning in my water drum, and I survived my first bout of some horrible sickness/may’ve been giardia. On Halloween, conveniently. So that was a great holiday.
On the work front, I finished writing the 1st draft of my VSA and am working on the presentation of it for IST. Keith and I are planning an event to have at my market day on Dec. 1 since that’s World AIDS Day. That will be our first big project. Also translating penpal letters, studying Swahili, getting a teaching schedule set up for next year. I also started some vegetable seeds inside although I think my garden is going to be a miserable failure; I’m too much of a city girl. So basically everything is in the planning stage still but I’ve at least decided a lot of what I’m going to try. Still looking for people to sponsor kids’ school fees (let me know if you wanna) and hopefully early next year I will have some other projects you can contribute to. Also found out none of the potential sites for new education volunteers in our district were ready so it will be just me and Keith still until at least next August! Woo, rockin’ it w/ no other friends!!!! And also, my villagers are trying to convince me to get a goat for some reason. I’m trying to resist, but part of me is like, “When else in life will I be able to say I have a goat?” So I’ll let you know if that ever happens.
All that and I’ve still had plenty of time for evening runs, cooking/baking sprees, and reading voraciously. Next week I’m going to bust out my camera and try to make a little video either for my VSA presentation or just for facebook to show people my new ‘hood. No promises how soon it will be done though.
So overall life is good. If you read this leave me a comment at least, or better yet email me! I miss my friends and I want to know what you’re up to!

"What you share with the world is what it keeps of you."

Mambo marafiki!
First of all, a big thanks to Uncle Ken, Stopa, and Pascale for sending me stuff! I LOVE YOU!
So since last time I have gotten a LOT of stuff done. I finished both my house-to-house surveys and 3 community meetings which involved doing a needs' assessment and a couple other activities to analyze gender roles and resources in the community. Oh, and I think I got rid of the scabies. And Sloopy killed the 1st rat! I also filtered my banana wine which is delicious, hung out w/ people in the village a lot more, met the District Med. Officer and my People Living with HIV group (PLWHAs) again. So I am basically brimming with project ideas but first I need to sit down and write my VSA to organize my thoughts and prioritize. So that's what I will be working on next. Otherwise I have been spending my days playing w/ the cats, wandering the village talking and mooching chai off people who invite me over, hanging out w/ Hadija and trying to jog every night to counteract all the chapati I end up eating while mooching. Trying to study Swahili too but I'm ADHD when it comes to that. Even with all the above activities I have oodles of reading time and am absolutely BLOWING through books (4 in the last 2 weeks) so keep them coming! I will read anything!
Other than that, bear with me through my first shameless plug. 1 thing I'm trying to get off the ground right now is getting support for Orphans and Vulnerable Children's school fees. Education is technically free in TZ but the costs of uniforms, supplies, and activity fees is still a hindrance to struggling families. And if they can't pay, then the kids don't learn. I already have done a census of the children of parent's living with HIV and am getting a list of orphans and other at-risk youth. The total yearly cost varies depending on what grade but for primary schoolers is no more than $50 a year! That's so cheap compared to America! The secondary schoolers pay a little more but I don't have the data yet. So if anyone has any way at all of being able to commit to one year of school fees for one child here, it would help SO MUCH. Not having to worry about school fees would allow these kids' caretakers to free up some of their little income for other things everyone is struggling with- food, water, buying seeds and farm equipment. And for the parents living with HIV, they have to pay bus fares to go to another village to get their Anti-Retroviral drugs. And for the kids, education has been proven time and time again to be the key to getting people thinking outside the box, out of the trap of hopelessness! So tell your parents, tell your friends, your church, anyone you think would want to help. Dosidosi appreciates it! Then if you're serious about it, shoot me an email so I can start making a list. I hope to get this started by the time the new school term starts in January. Asante sana!